As I stumble to Enlightenment

Relax! Take it easy!

I wrote the draft of this post exactly two years ago.
And as things go with blogging, you tend to save drafts when you’re not entirely happy with them.
Often they end up on the graveyard of so-and-so blog posts.
Sometimes you come across them months, even years later and you realize they actually became reality.
Like the post below.
So just remember this was written in 2013.

Take it easy!

Can you?

I can’t.
I’ve been without a job for 4 weeks now, apart from a small project I am finishing up for my previous employer and I hate it.
No, not the project.
I hate the empty moments when I don’t know what to do.
I hate the quietness of non-action.
I hate not being able to use my experience and talents.
I hate getting up in the morning with an empty agenda.

Sure, I’ve got dozens of books waiting to be read.
And I love wasting time playing silly computer games, like Candy Crush Saga.
Enjoy the sunshine with some music in my ears.
It’s not that I feel guilty, I’ve accepted that I shouldn’t do anything.

Just before or move back to Belgium I consciously decided to take a break.

A sabbatical.

It’s also not because I feel pressured financially.
When my wife and I made the decision to move back, we made sure we had enough cash for about 6 months.
Maybe there’s a little bit of pressure from my dad, who won’t sleep at night until he knows his son is safely back at work.
But then again after 36 years I’m used to that type of pressure.

It’s just that I like to build stuff.
I like to create a business, grow a portfolio, launch new products.
Be entrepreneurial.
The good thing is, soon I will be overloaded with all of this again.
And then I’ll be dreaming of lazy moments, playing Candy Crush in my hammock.

Because we always want what we don’t have when we’re not living in the moment.


Goal nr. 8: To be happy, always


Not only when things are going well.
But also in the apparent dark hours.
Simply because I understand there ain’t no such things as dark hours.
It’s all part of this game we’re playing called life.
Which by the way is still the best game you can ever play.
Even with all its flaws.
Simply because as far as I know, it’s the only game.
Never heard of anybody who could choose to play another game instead of living.
Well, I can think of one.
But that’s a game someday we all have to play as well, so I’ll wait for that one until the day comes. 

In the meantime I’ll practice some more to achieve this goal.
Because this one is by far the one I’ll be failing more than any other.
And that is just fine.

Goal nr. 7: Uh…

Six goals.

And then it stopped.

Sure, I had my list all written out.

And yet when it came to writing about goal number 7, it stopped.

So I left it for a while.

Until things became clear to me.

I don’t care too much about this goal.

At least not enough to write a blog post about it.

So how am I ever going to find the drive and energy to accomplish it?

So I dropped it.

The goal by the way, was to cook an awesome dinner on a regular basis.

I only spent a few moments thinking about why I had this goal in the first place.

And now I know it was some sort of guilt.

Guilt about not doing a lot in our household.

Guilt because so many men are chefs in their spare time.

Or at least they think are.

I’m not.

Me, I’d rather work a few more hours instead.

And have more fun than ever doing it.

So I’m leaving this one to others.

It’s like with boats.

I don’t want to be so rich so I can buy a sailing boat.

I want friends with a boat.

So I can go with them once in a while, and not have to worry about maintenance and storage.

If anybody reading this is interested in becoming a great Chef, let me know.

I still want to eat great food as often as possible.

Especially if it is prepared by great friends.

I am awaiting your invitation.

And I, I continue with goal eight.

Niks te doen

“Morgen,” zo zei ik tegen mijn pa, “heb ik niks te doen.”
Nu, nu morgen vandaag is geworden, besef ik wat een foute uitspraak dat was.

Het klopt dat noch ik, noch iemand anders van de familie een afspraak heeft of ergens naartoe moet.
Alleen is dat duidelijk niet hetzelfde als niks te doen.
Een hele voormiddag ben ik al bezig.
Met de belastingen die nog geregeld moeten worden.
Met een ingebrekestelling.
En dan ben ik nog niet aan de paperassen en de emails die nog in mijn inbox steken toegekomen.
Om van de meetings voor de komende week die ik moet voorbereiden nog maar te zwijgen.

Weer een les geleerd.
Ik zeg te rap dat ik niks te doen heb.
En als dat dan niet zo blijkt, word ik daar ambetant van.

Toch maar ergens een uurtje vrijhouden om wat te lezen en wat muziek te luisteren.
Of nog es ne blog post te schrijven.
Ge weet wel, om content te worden.

Zelfkennis, ge zijt daar nooit klaar mee.
Maar het van u afschrijven helpt nog altijd merk ik.

Like me

Be more like me.
For 35 years I´ve tried to get people to be more like me.
Because I got annoyed when people did things different.

For example, being on time.
I make it a point to be on time as much as possible.
And get really anxious when others are not.

No more.
I have learned to like me.
And from that I have learned to see how different others are.
And I am now starting to like the differences.

So don´t be like me.

Be You.


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