You are free to believe whatever you want.
The best thing to start with is to believe you are free.
Anybody who has had any management training knows about this.
“You should never say BUT.”
If you know about this, you also know about the alternative that is often proposed.
For a while I believed it.
For a while I believed however sounds better than but.
But BUT is not the problem.
The problem is what comes in front and after BUT.
Often what comes in front is a remark that somebody else said.
As a consequence of the meaning of but what comes after is something else.
Probably our opinion.
Which is different and as such may seem incompatible, hence the use of the word BUT.
So I’ve decided to swap things around.
To put the negative, the limiting, the seemingly contradictary stuff in front of BUT.
That way I’m forced to put something positive, opportunistic, unifying after it.
Here’s an example:
I know the picture is fuzzy and the light is crappy BUT you can still see how much fun we had.
I’ll give it try, see if it changes anything.
I love my parents dearly.
They are awesome people who have given me so much that I am in the top 15% of most wealthy people in the world.
If you wonder, as soon as you make more than $1,000 per month you are also in the top 15.
Unfortunately they grew up in some tough times.
They were born right after WW II ended and as far as I can tell, most of their lifes they spent in a world that was building things back up.
Making sure all their basic needs were covered.
A world of competition.
A world filled with fear it could happen again.
The threat of a Cold War or any other war freezing their emotions.
A world where you weren’t sure who you could trust.
Me, I grew up in and still live in a world where all my basic skills are covered.
A world that has gone global, which made me realise we’re all on the same team.
Which leaves me for room to focus on some of the higher needs from Maslow.
The only problems I have are #firstworldproblems.
One of the things at the top of Maslow’s pyramide is happiness.
And I learned that not only is happiness a choice you have to make over and over again.
It is also a skill to learn.
At least for some.
The people who cary the weight of the world.
First thing to do is laugh.
Everything else will sort itself out.
Hey, I never said it was a difficult skill to learn now did I?
Moments of change are great to learn some key lessons of life.
My wife and I took the decision about a year ago to make some big changes.
Rather than pursuing a career in the US of A we decided to move back home.
Which meant finding a new house, quitting my job, selling our car, relocating to another country.
And those are only the small things.
The real big change was mentally adapting to this.
Lots of change thus.
Lots of lessons learned too.
And one lesson I’ve learned in the past year is that I can do anything.
Simply put, as long as I don’t die I have all the time to do anything.
You just have to keep looking until you find a solution to the problem.
No matter how big the obstacle may seem at first, looking back it was always much simpler than I initially thought.
Knowing what you want also helps.
But that’s not the topic of today.
The topic is that as long as you are alive you can do anything.
And this is linked to another lesson that I learned a long time ago.
And that is that I don’t have to do anything.
Simply because I’m a grown up and I don’t believe in an interventionist god.
Once you know you don’t have to do anything and that you can do everything, then that only leaves one option.
Do whatever you want to.